can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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