I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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