i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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