what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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