careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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