I accidentally burped into my bong.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize