According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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