Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's blow job season.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
