So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
