What a fucking waste of an outfit
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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