it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
love makes seman taste better
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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