Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
