my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize