i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
