I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
