Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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