I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
