Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
