Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
