like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
