And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
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