What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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