I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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