This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
