ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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