THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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