Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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