I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
