If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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