Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
