Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
