Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
