sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
