Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
