i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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