It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
