I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
