Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she peed on how many people?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
