Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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