is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
