Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
