Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
