woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
