I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
