Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
