I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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