my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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