Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
