how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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