if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
