just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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