He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
