Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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