I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
