heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
