Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
