Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
did i just pee glitter
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize