Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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