dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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