Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
