I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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